Okay Moms. The word “terrible” doesn’t just precede the toddler twos anymore. It also goes along with Thirty two. Or pretty much any early 30 year. Man… whoever said 30 was the new 20 must not have kids or given birth. The thirties seem to be the years of Mama Malfunctions.
I don’t know about all you other Mamas out there but what in the actual fu*k happens to our bodies post baby. It’s not just the saggy skin, weight that won’t leave for the life of you, hair that doesn’t grow anymore or deflated boobs you can tuck in your shoes just to name a few. It’s the other weird heath conditions just start to happen randomly that are really pissin’ me off!!! As if the previous lovely parting gifts from pregnancy weren’t enough… smh.
My little girl just turned 3 and I’m STILL dealing with the repercussions of pregnancy/birth.
Carpal tunnel was something that appeared during my pregnancy in my left hand. I just had surgery on it last November which was a life saver. Thought I was out of the woods there but NOPE. Now my RIGHT hand decided to be an asshole and is acting up just as bad as the left was. Super fun to wake up in the morning with only. 1.5 working hands.
Then there’s the lovely skin condition I developed called hidradenitis suppurativa. This is a skin disease that mostly affects women, that basically means your adrenal glands went wacko and affect some sweat glands which then produce these awful boils that leave horrible purple scars. It’s a real hoot. 🙄 They come and go with your period typically. (As if periods aren’t bad enough as it is…) There’s no cure and no real way to manage them accept to use topical antibiotics. It freaking SUCKS.
Oh yes then as of January of this year I developed something called, Interstitial Cystitis. This is basically an irritable bladder syndrome. It can cause pain, frequent urination, urethral burning, and just a feeling like you ALWAYS have to pee (circa month 9 of pregnancy). It was a very scary few months of the year for myself and my family as we didn’t know what the heck was wrong with me and no doctor could figure it out, as you must demonstrate these symptoms for at least 6 months to be diagnosed with interstitial cystitis or IC as they call it. It honestly is the worst of all the ailments I’ve developed in my post preggo body because you can never really get comfortable if you’re having a flare. My flares coincide with my hormonal fluctuations. For some women it depends on what they eat. It really varies. But let me tell you- I have tried EVERY medication possible for this as well as Chinese medicine and acupuncture and nothing has helped. So I manage the pain and symptoms with pain meds during the day and Xanax at night to sleep. I really hope it spontaneously goes away much like it spontaneously started. They say that happens sometimes. They also say with pregnancy it can go away… here’s hoping when I get pregnant with baby numero dos that it goes bye-bye! 🤞🏻
On top of all those ailments, let’s talk about our damn joints too. I mean one day it’s the knee, then an elbow, then your lower back. Ya just never know what body part going to decide to be a jackass from day to day! And what’s with the knee clicking?! Between the knee clicking and the thighs rubbing I have my own soundtrack. “ Swish swish crack! Swish swish crack!” Maybe a random “ouch!” or “Grrr!” thrown in as I putter around the house.
In all seriousness though mamas…I know we wouldn’t trade our little babies for the world and yes they are worth our deteriorating bodies LOL… but man is it frustrating!! I used to think (pre baby) that I wouldn’t start to fall apart till at least my 40’s but fu*k…. if this is 30’s what the heck happens in your 40’s!?!?!? 😑😩. Am I going to randomly lose a limb???
Just a side note too- I actually do take good care of myself too. I’ve been a vegetarian for over 21 years. I workout 4-5 times a week. I don’t smoke or do drugs. The only thing (as you can probably guess from the name of my blog) is I do enjoy a lovely libation from time to time. Okay, okay we’re all being honest here- usually a glass at night after work, gym, dinner, and whatnot is done… which I think *most* parents do for survival. And it is SURVIVAL at times…. amiright?!?!
I am hoping with my new workout plan, eating a bit better and maybe being less of a lush (ha)… that some of these Mama Malfunctions will go away, cuz I am not gonna make it the next 60 years… heck 10 years even with this shit… *POSITIVE THOUGHTS*
Okay Mamas… tell me I’m not the only one that developed a slew of weird health conditions post baby. Share yours with me below in comments so we can commiserate!! 😆
In the meantime…. it’s always 5 o’clock when you have kids as I say. Sooooo whether you’re having one of those days… or just cuz hey – it’s Tuesday LOL… pour a glass of wine or whatever you fancy… and cheers to YOU! All of us moms are superheroes!! ❤️🍾🙌🏻
Until next time!
